Post by Anthony Caffrey on Jul 8, 2015 23:32:56 GMT -5
Verdi's "Dies Irae" hits the speakers in Camden Yards, and the fan reaction is positive as Caffrey emerges. He's carrying the Around the Clock contract with him, and he has had the back spraypainted black with "Caffrey" written on it in different colors. He takes a selfie with a group of fans before walking up the steps and into the ring. A microphone is tossed to him, which he catches with one hand. He lets the crowd's cheers die down before he speaks...rather weirdly.
Caffrey: Me Anthony Caffwey. I won paper that say I get shot for gold. It here. I stupid now because I wons it. Me not sure what happen. I blame dis.
Caffrey holds up his Around the Clock contract. He puts the microphone down while the crowd laughs. He bring it back up to his mouth when they are done. He snaps out of the dumb voice.
Caffey: Do I look stupid to you? Do I look like a man who needs advice? Because holy crap between now and Sunday I’ve gotten so much advice from people. “Don’t lose it”, “look at the history, you’re gonna lose it if you’re not careful”, and everything Brewer said, like holy crap you guys. Winning this bad boy does not suddenly drop your IQ thirty points. Trust me, I would know. This is not the back-half of Flowers for Algernon.
Caffrey: I mean, if I were as dumb as Michael Brewer would probably have you believe, I wouldn’t be standing here as the winner! Come on! I learn from history! I love history, it was my favorite subject in school. Oh man.
Caffrey rubs his chin.
Caffrey: I’m not sure if there’s a story in history that coincides with Dexter Point, though - maybe Benedict Arnold. Everyone thought he’d be a hero, and then it turns out he’s just another selfish asshole. Aww, couldn’t do it, big boy? “I’m underappreciated, waaaaah”, no...you just can’t keep your ego in check, joining a long line of men in the GWA, including but not limited to pretty much everyone not named Anthony Caffrey. I want to pause for a second after this next little bit just to drive home this point. In today’s GWA, Caffrey has his ego in check and everyone else is a raging narcissist. Who ever thought that would be the case?
Caffrey laughs. He looks like he’s being his natural self up there, a welcome break from the raging narcissist we’ve seen in the past.
The crowd is appreciating it.
Caffrey: As for Alex Perfect...look, I understand, you’re jealous. Nobody sat there and rigorously planned out the Riot nearly as much as I did. July 4th was not Independence Day for me, it was the day before the Riot. I sat there and planned and planned because the Riot is not a wrestling match, it’s a popularity contest. Clearly people like you and Chozyn need to make more friends, dummy. You’re gonna learn something the rest of the GWA already knows: I’m the smartest guy in the back. If you want to disrespect me, that’s fine, I’ll just pundh your teeth out - but don’t name vets of this ring and pretend you’re as good as them, because I wrestled those guys, and those guys you clearly aren't.
The crowd pops.
Caffrey: Michael, all of your spotlight now belongs to me. Every time you get in this ring and talk, people will clamor for me. Every time you wrestle, win or lose, people will ask where I am. I may even keep up my appearances this season just to make sure I have a great view for every single one of your contests. If you choose to wrestle, that is - a piece of advice for you, since you were so nice and gave me one: if you choose to team with Dexter to win the GWA World Tag Team Championships, it’ll be the dumbest thing you’ve ever done in the GWA.
Caffrey breaks the light-heartedness for that last line, but goes right back to keeping the tone light and fun.
Caffrey: Which I guess should be expected, y’know, since you’ve won one of these yourself. Do I get a shiny ribbon for joining the Idiots’ Club? Is there a Facebook page I should go home and join? Do I get one of those fancy suits that makes me look like a Giant Angry Metrosexual? Wait a minute...the IQ drop...is that why you’re teaming with Dexter, so he can be the brains of your operation? Well shit, that’s actually a pretty good idea, then.
Caffrey chuckles and brings the microphone back up to his mouth.
Caffrey: Come along for the ride, Caffrey Corner. I can already it’s going to be a really, really fun season.
The crowd pops as Caffrey sets down the microphone. He holds up the contract and poses with it in the center of the ring before rolling to the outside. He takes a few more selfies before leaving.
Caffrey: Me Anthony Caffwey. I won paper that say I get shot for gold. It here. I stupid now because I wons it. Me not sure what happen. I blame dis.
Caffrey holds up his Around the Clock contract. He puts the microphone down while the crowd laughs. He bring it back up to his mouth when they are done. He snaps out of the dumb voice.
Caffey: Do I look stupid to you? Do I look like a man who needs advice? Because holy crap between now and Sunday I’ve gotten so much advice from people. “Don’t lose it”, “look at the history, you’re gonna lose it if you’re not careful”, and everything Brewer said, like holy crap you guys. Winning this bad boy does not suddenly drop your IQ thirty points. Trust me, I would know. This is not the back-half of Flowers for Algernon.
Caffrey: I mean, if I were as dumb as Michael Brewer would probably have you believe, I wouldn’t be standing here as the winner! Come on! I learn from history! I love history, it was my favorite subject in school. Oh man.
Caffrey rubs his chin.
Caffrey: I’m not sure if there’s a story in history that coincides with Dexter Point, though - maybe Benedict Arnold. Everyone thought he’d be a hero, and then it turns out he’s just another selfish asshole. Aww, couldn’t do it, big boy? “I’m underappreciated, waaaaah”, no...you just can’t keep your ego in check, joining a long line of men in the GWA, including but not limited to pretty much everyone not named Anthony Caffrey. I want to pause for a second after this next little bit just to drive home this point. In today’s GWA, Caffrey has his ego in check and everyone else is a raging narcissist. Who ever thought that would be the case?
Caffrey laughs. He looks like he’s being his natural self up there, a welcome break from the raging narcissist we’ve seen in the past.
The crowd is appreciating it.
Caffrey: As for Alex Perfect...look, I understand, you’re jealous. Nobody sat there and rigorously planned out the Riot nearly as much as I did. July 4th was not Independence Day for me, it was the day before the Riot. I sat there and planned and planned because the Riot is not a wrestling match, it’s a popularity contest. Clearly people like you and Chozyn need to make more friends, dummy. You’re gonna learn something the rest of the GWA already knows: I’m the smartest guy in the back. If you want to disrespect me, that’s fine, I’ll just pundh your teeth out - but don’t name vets of this ring and pretend you’re as good as them, because I wrestled those guys, and those guys you clearly aren't.
The crowd pops.
Caffrey: Michael, all of your spotlight now belongs to me. Every time you get in this ring and talk, people will clamor for me. Every time you wrestle, win or lose, people will ask where I am. I may even keep up my appearances this season just to make sure I have a great view for every single one of your contests. If you choose to wrestle, that is - a piece of advice for you, since you were so nice and gave me one: if you choose to team with Dexter to win the GWA World Tag Team Championships, it’ll be the dumbest thing you’ve ever done in the GWA.
Caffrey breaks the light-heartedness for that last line, but goes right back to keeping the tone light and fun.
Caffrey: Which I guess should be expected, y’know, since you’ve won one of these yourself. Do I get a shiny ribbon for joining the Idiots’ Club? Is there a Facebook page I should go home and join? Do I get one of those fancy suits that makes me look like a Giant Angry Metrosexual? Wait a minute...the IQ drop...is that why you’re teaming with Dexter, so he can be the brains of your operation? Well shit, that’s actually a pretty good idea, then.
Caffrey chuckles and brings the microphone back up to his mouth.
Caffrey: Come along for the ride, Caffrey Corner. I can already it’s going to be a really, really fun season.
The crowd pops as Caffrey sets down the microphone. He holds up the contract and poses with it in the center of the ring before rolling to the outside. He takes a few more selfies before leaving.